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No Place Like Home    

We are the ‘True Patriotic’ Americans
So who do we hate?


First it was the British.

We didn’t want to be ruled by their King,

So we came here

And left them there, in their place.


Next it was the indigenous people (aka Indians)

Who were here when we arrived.

We killed a lot of them and

Put the rest on reservations;

And that kept them in their places.


So then we brought a lot of Africans (aka Blacks)

To this new country.

We chained them, whipped them, bought & sold them,

Lynched some of them and,

Kept the rest of them in their places.


Women were next in line.

We didn’t much care for it

When they asked for the right to vote.

So we beat them & and jailed them.

I guess we put them in their place.


Oh yeah, the Japanese.

Not only did we attack & kill them

With a couple atomic bombs in their country.

We also rounded up all those in our country

Who were on ‘our side’ and put them in relocation camps.

I guess that put them in their place!


Lately though it’s been the homosexuals.

We beat the crap out of ‘em,

Then chain them to the back of our trucks and

Drag their bodies down dirt roads.

That’ll teach ‘em where their place is.


And now onto those damn Hispanics

Who are trying to take over our country

One lawn service business at a time.

That big wall we’re building all across

Our southern border will hopefully

Keep all of them in their place.


Oh, and last but not least, Muslims.

Where do they belong?

Not here, that’s for damn sure.

Let’s bomb them all back to the stone age,

That ought to put them in their place…..and time.



So who’s next? Come on…..

We’re running out of who to hate next.

And we can’t be proud Americans

If we don’t have anyone to step on,

Kill, put down, lock up, whip,

Chain to a wall or a tree, waterboard,

Put in solitary, or force to lose their language

And their culture & their religion.


I guess we’ll just have to start hating

Those who won’t say “Merry Christmas”.

After all, this country was founded on the

Christian ideals of compassion & equality for all.


Too bad there are so few ‘True Patriotic’ Americans left

To stand up for what’s right.


PS – We do actually like the Israelis

Because they keep the Palestinians in their place,

So we don’t have to.


PPS – And now we’re starting to not like the poor

And the homeless and the mentally ill

Because they’re dirty and they smell terrible.

And besides, they don’t have any money.

We might hate them a little less if they

Knew where their place was and would go there.


“From the mountains, to the prairies,

To the oceans white with foam,

God bless America,

My home, sweet home.

God bless America,

My home, sweet home.”

Terren Zander is a member of Cop Watch in Olympia.


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