My ears miss the sorrow filled wheezing of the ventilator machine,
the iv no longer beeped its retched beep that had its way of driving me into insanity
She looks peaceful, like a child at rest.
I can no longer see the twisted maze of pain and agony
that made it her face for all the years I had consciously knew her
I trace her cheetah print lupus scars and absorb every inch of her lifeless features
I spent a lifetime as a babbling brook, for the first time I am speechless.
My twisting arrogant tongue danced around chattering teeth,
tripping over its two left feet,
I had never learned how to tango with reality.
My mother was diagnosed with a bum immune system and a short life expectancy
The doctors came in with their PHDs waving like super men capes
And slapped her with an expiration date
I slumped through the ICU door and locked my eyes upon her.
Balled and chained to various machines that bound her to the cusp of death
Waiting for a life time, her life time
Racing thoughts cut their path through the maze like folds of my frontal cortex,
She is gone, but the worst thing yet,
I cannot accept that I will leave today broken and motherless.