“Are you an idealist?  Looking for ‘fulfillment?’” 

[Ed note:  The following is not a parody; it’s an actual “help wanted” ad posted by Amazon’s adorably hip HR writers on Idealist.com]

You:  Seasonal Sortation Associate  —Delivery Station, Renton WA

Things you should know about working in an Amazon Delivery Station: 

Safety, it’s more than wearing a reflective vest. We’re committed to providing one of the safest work environments, which means stretching, safety tips, and  yes… following the rules. 
Customer-obsession. It makes your day to make someone else happy. 
Quality is key. You have high standards, and it shows in your work. We’ll hold you to it, but only because we know our associates can handle it. 

We like to keep you on your toes, associates will rotate tasks multiple times throughout the week. 

Amazon lets customers order whatever they need, whenever they need. Flexibility is key, associates should be open to extra hours, time off, and a rapid pace. 

Layer up! You should be comfortable working in an environment with varying temperatures. Many buildings have dock doors that open throughout shifts, this can cause the temperature to be high during the summer or cold during the winter depending on the location. 

Got it? Okay, but what will you actually be doing? 

Keep on truckin’. Manage the receiving of truck deliveries and packages. 

Pumped up kicks. You’ll stand in one place for extended periods of time, and be walking a good distance around the facility—good shoes are a must! 

All hands on deck! You can expect to handle packages from small envelopes to boxes ranging up to 49 pounds. 

On the move. You should be willing and able to operate carts, dollies, hand trucks and other moving equipment to move large quantities of merchandise. Potential opportunity to operate PIT equipment, special training is offered to associates based on interest and availability. 

Keepin’ up with the times. You’ll use a smartphone, apps, handheld devices, and can even scan a bar code or two. 

We want you to join the team if you can check these boxes:

Thrown your cap in the air – you have a High School diploma or equivalent. 

Blown out the candles— you are at least 18 years old. 

Flex, not just your muscles— you don’t mind a curve ball every once in a while and you can be flexible in responsibilities. 

You are willing and able to work extra hours as required, bringing smiles to our customers doesn’t take time off. 

Let’s get physical— associates must, with or without reasonable accommodation, be able to lift up to 49 pounds, stand/walk for up to 8-10 hours, and be able to frequently push, pull, squat, bend, and reach. 

Step it up— be able to continuously climb and descend stairs safely (applies to sites with stairs) 
Must be able to work on a secure mezzanine at a height of up to 40 feet (applies to buildings with mezzanines) [couldn’t think of a cute, hip way to say this]

Must be willing and able to work on powered equipment— for example forklift or cherry picker. 

Basic Qualifications (because compliance asked us nicely to list these out…) 
[Ah, actual straight talk…]

Must be at least 18 years old—High School diploma or equivalent 
English literacy skills 

Me:  $13.25/hr.  

Holiday overtime pay, Basic Life, AD&D insurance [might need this]
On-the-job training and skill development 
Employee Assistance Program [this too]